“I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.” – Voltaire

Honestly, while I have very strong feelings about Occupy Wall Street, I propose that anyone who is an energy worker or who wishes to pray, light a candle, do a ritual, whatever spiritual or metaphysical practice you prefer, do so with the following aims in mind:

1. To protect the protestors and keep them safe from within and without. (Points to the quote above). Our first amendment guarantees the right to assembly and the right to free speech. It also guarantees the freedom of the press. For any of these rights to be denied for any reason weakens us all.

2. That the issues of income inequality and the plight of the poor, disabled, senior, or disadvantaged of those among us come to light, and that all work toward a solution that is healthy for all.

3. That those in power over the Corporations realize that the root of the word Corporation is cooperate, and that their actions may have directly, or indirectly, created the environment in which the issues of #2 have flourished.

4. That those in political power remember the basic tenant of our Constitution: by the people, for the people.

5. That those in power remember that if they deem Corporations to be people like you and me, then Corporations must be held to the same levels of justice and accountability that citizens are.

Therefore, I call upon all reiki and other energy workers, those who wish to pray or meditate or simply send positive thoughts towards these goals. I believe these goals transcend political party or ideology. These goals transcend religion. And I believe that these are good goals for all of us to have.

So mote it be.

One of the things we need to do is to let go of the past. It’s easy to say we should let go, but to actually do it is difficult. Trust me, it’s an issue I’m struggling with right now, and after going through these steps and focusing on moving forward, I wanted to share this information with you. It doesn’t matter what the situation is you want to let go of; these steps can be used for something that is seemingly minor or major. Of course, the “minor” and “major” labels are something you need to use, not anyone else. Don’t let anyone else tell you that it’s a “small thing” and you should just get over it. As the old adage goes, easier said than done.

So you’ve decided that there’s an issue or a situation you’d like to release into the past instead of dragging it up like a blanket to wrap yourself in every time you get a little depressed or want to make a point. (Can you tell I’ve been there?) First off, acknowledge that you’ve reached this important milestone for letting go. Congratulations!

I know, I know, the phrase sounds kind of naughty, but it really isn’t. There’s a joke at our house, that Baxter, one of our cats, when he curls up in your lap, his “love battery” is low, and he needs to soak up all the comfort and positive energy from cuddling with you that he can. When his battery gets full, he goes off to do kitty stuff. Last night at work (and boy was it a bad night at work), he curled up in my lap. I immediately smiled and asked him if his love battery was low? He lifted his head, blinked his golden kitty eyes, and looked at me and I heard, “no, I’m charging your love battery.” Kitty love and cuddles for the win!

And I realized something. I’ve been letting my love battery get low. How have I been doing that? I’ve been marinating in negative thoughts about my work situation (because I’m not writing and talking to everyone and following my soul’s purpose and my heart desire when I’m at the “day job”. I’ll talk about that later…). And I’ve been taking care of everyone except myself, using the “well we’re losing health insurance after the first of the year *grumble* *grumble* argument” as a basis for treating myself like crap. So yeah, my love battery was deader than a six-year-old car battery in the dead of an Iowa winter. Not even a click.

After thanking Baxter for his wisdom (our kitties are so much more wise than we are), I thought…how can I charge my love battery? And then I realized.. wait…there are people out there just like me who don’t even know their love battery is low. So here are the thoughts I had about charging your love battery.

Steps to self-love (because really, a love battery is simply a measure of how much you love yourself. And you must love to receive love.)

1. Open yourself up to love. I don’t know about you, but when I get stressed I close myself off. I curl in on myself (which causes my fibromyalgia pain). So take a deep breath and imagine your heart opening to all the love the universe and those around you have to offer.

2. If you do reiki or an energy modality, give yourself reiki. Whether you’re charging batteries for your digital camera or your love battery, nothing works like energy!

3. Release your negative thoughts. I know it’s hard. Believe me I know it’s hard, and it’s all to easy to sit there and repeat the same things over and over again, but release these thoughts. Say “cancel” outloud, or “clear” or “delete”, whatever words work for you. Let them go.

4. Think about charging other people with love. Do you work with the public? Make a conscious effort to smile and offer genuine friendliness and joy to those you meet. Spread the love around because the more you give, the more you get back.

It’s tough, and it will take a conscious effort. Even today, less than twenty-four hours after Baxter’s education, I found myself waking up and wallowing in the negativity until I realized I was draining my own love battery. That’s not good. So when you catch yourself make sure you forgive yourself. Because that’s the biggest act of love you can do.

Spiritual Companions: Our Pets and Our Spirituality by Mary Caelsto
nonfiction, pets, animals, spirituality
ISBN# 978-0-9839726-7-9
Cover Art by Jupiter Gardens Press

When we think about our spirituality, we generally don’t include our household pets. However humans have been living with animals in one way or another since the dawn of time. Including our pets in our spirituality is one way to have a complete household. SPIRITUAL COMPANIONS looks at animals and humans, showing us what these creatures might have to teach us and what they can bring to our spiritual practice.

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Read an excerpt

I’ve been doing a lot of personal work lately, and I hope to detail some of it in the blog, as I think it’s information from which everyone can benefit. Working with fears, the root of emotions, and then transforming those emotions, has been an amazing, and ongoing, experience. As someone who has fibromyalgia, I’ve been focused a lot on the physical aspect of my illness. After all, fibromylagia comes with its own host of physical symptoms from the pain to the exhaustion and fatigue as well as the fibro fog. Depending on the given day, I might have all of these in abundance. (I always was a “to do” list kind of person, but the fibro fog has been getting a lot worse lately, and it’s becoming mandatory. It’s also why I tell friends and family members to not be shy about reminding me about things, because sometimes I remember, sometimes not.) And, as I care for others in my family, I’ve been really lax on the self-care.

All of which led me to the recent serious emotional work I’ve done lately involving finding roots and causes of fear and working to release them and replace them with love. It’s taken me down a dark road, one filled with “aha” moments, and one filled with realizations.

It’s also leading to my work in emotional reiki.

But isn’t reiki a method of healing and stress-reduction, so doesn’t it already work on the emotions? And isn’t there already a symbol devoted specifically to emotional work? Yes, there is. However, emotional reiki is a specific focus, and a specific aspect of this work and takes it to a deeper level. It utilizes all the tools, including distance reiki and sending reiki back, and forward, in time, to help work through emotional issues. It takes all of this, and boosts it, so to speak.

It’s powerful, and it’s something you can work with when you’re ready, when all the barriers and the fear fade away and we have just ourselves and our situation. I hope to post more about it in the coming weeks and months. Because it’s not done changing me, and mostly, I’m just letting it speak. I am the vessel, the reiki is the energy and the love.

This blog is going to make a lot of people upset, so I’m going to apologize in advance. But I also would like to ask that before you get mad, think about what I’m saying. I think, you’ll find, that in some cases, if not all, it is most likely that I’m right.

Speaker phones have their uses. I believe that in limited cases they can be beneficial.  The key word is limited. And no, talking while you’re driving on speaker phone isn’t any better, and doesn’t qualify as a limited case. Turn the phone off when you’re driving! Really. I won’t get into the limited cases here; I think by the time the blog is finished you could think of a few. But I do think that we should think before using speaker phones. And here’s why.

Speaker phones tell the person on the other end of the phone, “you are not important enough to warrant my full attention.”

I can hear you saying, “but I use speaker phones to keep my hands free.” “It’s more convenient for me.” There are a hundred little excuses we could use for speaker phones, but honestly, they’re the modern day equivalent of “You’re bothering me. I need to focus on something else.”

Think about it. Why do we put people on speaker phone? Generally it’s to have our hands free so we can do other things, whether it’s focusing on typing on the computer or drive. You’re cooking dinner or washing vegetables and need to have your hands busy, so you set the phone on the counter and call your relative while you’re working. It’s all about multi-tasking and not giving either task your full attention.

So not only do we have our attention divided, which completely annuls any attempt at mindfulness and living in the moment that we are doing. We also are giving half-attention to each task, so there’s a good chance we’re going to miss something. The relative to whom you’re speaking will feel slighted, as if you can’t give him or her your full attention.

In a business setting, we put people on speaker phone all the time, generally without their permission. Again, we do this so we can focus on other tasks, such as typing out emails or scheduling even more meetings. This tells the business person “I wanted to meet with you, but you’re not important enough for me to focus all my attention on you.”

I’m sorry, but if a business person does this to me, then I don’t want to do business with him or her. End of story. And I wouldn’t think other customers would either.

If you do have to put someone on speaker phone, say if you’re working with someone and they ask you to do a task like typing in the computer, ask if you can put them on speaker phone. “I need to be able to type in this information. Can I put you on speaker phone for a minute?” Then, when they give their permission, complete the task, then take them off speaker phone. A little courtesy goes a long way to reassure the person that you are still giving your full attention to him or her.

It’s hard to live in the moment and be mindful of what we do. Our ever-faster paced lives make it even more difficult than it was last month or last year. So let’s take a moment and invite some common courtesy into our business dealings. Give up the speaker phone, and see how your relationships grow.

We’re constantly talking and everything in our world is constantly talking. We say things through social media, connecting with friends, acquaintances, and even total strangers online. We talk in our jobs. We talk to our family and our friends in real life. Our bodies tell us that they’re hungry or they hurt. We’re constantly being bombarded with information and messages. And most of us try to shout what we want to say over this constant din. The problem with that is that many of us in doing so forget to stop and listen, so we’re constantly stomping on other people’s messages.

It’s fascinating. The more work I do, the more I realize in this age of instant messages, cell phones, and speaker phones (Have I mentioned how much I absolutely detest speaker phones? I’ll talk about those in my next blog entry.), it’s way too easy to shout our message at people and not listen to them in return. In my line of work, I’m constantly talked over. No one waits to hear what I have to say and then they wonder why I repeat myself fifteen times.

Being in one of those conversations is frustrating at best and rage-inducing at worst. How do you avoid being one of “those” people and being more present and mindful in our own lives? First, take a deep breath before you speak. Not only will the pause hopefully clue the other person in that you’re about to talk, but it will also give you time to collect your thoughts. Secondly, don’t spend the entire conversation thinking about that great story you want to tell or what you can say next. Spend it listening to the other person, really connecting on a heart-to-heart level. And third, sometimes it’s all right to be quiet. When the world is babbling around us, sometimes it’s good to sit and be quiet. Sure, the social media gurus might say that’s a bad thing, but a little quiet goes a long ways.

And, it’s beneficial to just sit there and listen.

I’m all for taking small, doable steps toward a healthier me. My eating habits range from “really healthy and on plan Weight Watchers” to living on the processed/boxed foods on which I grew up. Mostly it’s a balance between the two. However, one of the easy things I’ve done is to change the color of my potato.

I won’t lie: mashed potatoes still are my comfort food. And for me that means 4-5 Russet Potatoes, a few TBs of butter or low-fat Butter (Brummels & Brown, or Smart Life, or Move Over Butter are my favorites), and a big dash of skim milk. Squish it all with a potato masher, leave it kind of lumpy, then enjoy with butter! It’s a comfort food.

But we also have a lot of baked potatoes at our house because my partner prefers baked potatoes to mashed. (Silly guy!) So when we have baked potatoes, I have sweet potatoes.

A sweet potato, sprinkled with cinnamon, and yeah, sometimes a little butter, is a lovely addition to any meal. Tonight we had smoked pork chops and baked potatoes, and with my sweet one, I felt I had a perfect fall meal for the first day of Fall.

The steps we make toward wellness don’t have to be big ones. I’ve found sweet potatoes are the same price as russets at my local grocery store. Substituting the potato I bake at home, or when I can order them at restaurants, allows me to put more color on my plate and more vitamins in my body.

Most of the research I’ve read talks about how fibromyalgia attacks women who are Type A personalities, over achievers, and the go-getters of the world. Most of the people I speak with who have this disease say the same thing. I know I did. I used to be 10 minutes early for everything, work two or three jobs (my “bill paying job” and then working on my businesses), take care of everyone and everything and still have time left over to read a book or simply do something for me. Now, I’m always 10 minutes late, I still work the two or three jobs, but one of them is killing me, there’s never enough time, and I can barely drag myself out of bed.

The motto used to be “Mary does everything. Mary fixes everything.” Now my motto is, “I can do what I can do, and that’s all I can do.”

It’s a hell of a doozy, that first step toward reality.

But the one lesson the fibro monster has made me face is that I have to be gentle with myself. Beating myself up, getting angry and frustrated doesn’t do me any good. In fact it hurts me, physically and emotionally. I was talking with my mom tonight and saw in her many of the same things I see in myself, so I told her she needs to be gentle with herself.

We all do. Goodness, we live in a 24/7, always on, always available world. Parents have to think about their jobs, their kids, their kids’ jobs/activities, and keeping up a house. Even those of us without human children have our own jobs, homes, activities, pets, friends, family members…the list goes on and on. Now that my friends and I are old enough to at least have families of our own (or do), we also have ageing parents which need our help, too. There’s no chance to breathe, let alone take care of ourselves.

Fibromyalgia makes us take care of ourselves. It forces us (okay me, but those with whom I’ve spoken have said the same things) to stop and make time for ourselves. If we don’t listen to our bodies, we hurt.

And honestly, even if we’re in the peak of health, we need to be gentle with ourselves. There’s so much out there telling us that we’re “wrong” or we “don’t know” something. There’s lots of negative images and ideas being thrown at us on a daily basis. We need to stop, accept ourselves and our abilities (notice I didn’t say limitations. After all, we can do what we can do, and that’s what we can do.), and be gentle with ourselves.

One of the most powerful things we have is our ability to love ourselves. This love, this acceptance, flows like the most pristine spring water and refreshes and nurtures our heart and soul. Understand that it takes great strength to accept ourselves and love ourselves no matter the consequences.

So please, the next time you’re lamenting the lack of things being checked off on your to do list, take a deep breath, and be gentle with yourself. It’s okay, and you are perfectly all right.

The news is getting rough these days about the recession, recovery, double-dip (and not an ice cream cone, alas), and jobs, jobs, jobs. I try not to listen, or at least choose my sources so that there’s a mix of positivity, facts, honesty, and analysis. Just because things aren’t coming up roses, doesn’t mean we have to walk around like Mr. Grumpy from the Mr. Men show all the time. (Or Grumpy Dwarf, take your pick of children’s characters.) It also means that we need to face up to some facts.

Workforces are cutting back, making most of us do more work for less…of everything! Less pay, less recognition, less empathy, less tolerance, less respect. It can be easy to start thinking of ourselves in those less-er terms. After all, it’s our fault things don’t get done. There’s something wrong with us when customers and suppliers don’t listen to us, or our boss chooses to ignore our accomplishments. Really, those of us who are out there in the world, working hard, are carrying a whole heap of a lot on our shoulders.

I don’t want to diminish, or dismiss your concerns at all. They’re valid. TRUST ME. However, the truth of the situation is, in a reverse of that old break-up line, it’s not us, it’s THEM.

Take a deep breath. Take two or three, goddess knows we need it.

Now, repeat after me. “I am not broken. The system is broken.” Now that might not be a happy phrase, but by golly it’s one that is going to help you keep your mindfulness and your frame of mind. What we choose to do about the broken system is up to us. And some of us might not take any action. That’s all right, as is becoming the crusader and working to change the system. We need a little bit of all types to make things work.

The important thing is that each of us remember that we are still the divine creatures, blessed by the universe, that we always have been. We might be misguided, and we might have built institutions that aren’t functioning right at the moment. But we are not broken. We have everything we need to make things better and we’ve always had everything we need.

I’d like to think that with this realization we can sit up a little straighter, hold our heads a little higher, and start easing that load off our shoulders. If we project our positivity and our inner light into the world, people will listen. Not everyone, and maybe not that grumpy customer who calls every week. But people will listen. And they will act by responding to your own inner light with their own. And so on, and so forth. Once there’s enough light in the systems, then not only will all their cracks and flaws be illuminated, but people will be driven to fix them. So keep on shining.

And when the work day gets you down and you feel like nothing is going right, remember… it’s not you. It’s the system. And we can fix it. Together.