Twenty years ago when I discovered Wicca I had little chance of finding an actual group. For starters, I was still in school and there was no way my parents would have let me find a coven for training. Like most witches, I became a solitare. However,  now that I’ve had the opportunity to take official, structured lessons, I have to say, there is something to be said for coven-based learning.

It’s like the difference between reading about something and working under an experienced teacher. Now for a lot of us books are all we have. So I certainly wouldn’t want to dismiss solitary and book learning. It served me very well for twenty years. However, I do think, that if the opportunity presents itself, that Wiccans should look at taking in-person training.

Which means that as a community, we might want to look beyond the traditional coven structure. How can we get education, such as in the form of seminars or online presenting, to people who might be remotely. This is where the internet and virtual spaces come in handy. Through such things as online webinars, teleseminars, and even virtual spaces, we can bring a large number of Wiccans together who might be in different parts of the globe and provide education and classes.

Will this replace in-person teaching? Of course not. But just as with colleges there are many opportunities from online classes to in-person classes, to a mix of the two, there should be in spiritual teaching as well.

Though I see concepts more clearly now than I have in the past, and I am gaining levels of understanding I did not know, I do not be grudge my solitary years. After all, they brought me closer to the goddess, and in turn, closer to my spirituality and myself.

It’s taken me a while to finish this series, and I apologize for the delay. Perhaps you could say that it’s in accordance with the third part of that old saying, the “to be silent” part.

It’s commonly said that when working magick, it has to be done in secret. I’m sure some of this comes from the fact that there are those who don’t believe in magick, or in the power of spells (which are really just prayers). Secrecy is needed to keep people from being persecuted or experience negative consequences to being active in magickal workings. But the “to be silent” part also is borne out of other necessities.

The fact is that our words and thoughts take on a life of their own. If we think it, we’re creating it. So if we were to talk about our magickal undertakings to others, especially those who would doubt, their doubts would be acting against our own work. Our own doubts do the same thing. If we constantly think “Oh, I did a money spell, when’s the money going to come? I’m not getting any money.” then our own doubts are subtly undermining our working, like erosion during a hurricane taking away the beach sand.

We also need to give the universe space to work on our requests. We asked to have our magick spun for the best and highest good of all, didn’t we? Then we need to allow the space for that to happen. Our own ideas of how things should work out may not be what the universe has in store for us or thinks is best. It’s a be careful what you wish for situation. If we don’t allow our wishes to be very non-specific and very much up to the universe/God/Goddess, then we might be setting ourselves up for even bigger problems down the road.

It’s also a test of will, which is the middle pillar of the saying and the glue that holds it all together. Can we be quiet about something? It’s hard. Trust me. I’m a talker. LOL! (Though with the fibro fog, I’m good at keeping secrets because I totally forget them. *grins*) So to not say anything about a spell or ritual or goal is difficult. We want to tell. It’s bursting to get out of us. But, we are silent, for we know the magick has been done and the silence is the fuel that makes it get to work.

Some say that the second part of this saying, “to will”, is the most difficult one to follow. I’m not so sure about that. It’s easy to will things, and then sometimes it can be the most difficult thing in the world. Granted, we all “want” things, but that’s not the same as willing them. Will means you have the power to make something happen. Will means that you are actively working toward a desired outcome.

Think about those two things which we commonly think of as needing a lot of will: losing weight and quitting smoking. It takes an active act of will to do these things, and it’s something that needs to be done on a daily basis. The thought processes which we use to continue to overeat must, for example, be tackled on a daily, sometimes even an hourly or a minute-by-minute basis.

In the case of spellwork and ritual, that will is twofold. First, you must have the will to actually do the spell and craft it in accordance with the purpose of your ritual. You need to do the research and the work to craft your ritual exactly the way you want it. You have to have the will to make the right decisions in performing the spell. This means following the rule of three and harming none.

Secondly, you have to actually have the will to go through with the ritual. Some of our magic is fun, celebratory work. However there are times when we will need to do containment or protective spells, or even banishings. It’s part of the wheel of life and the wheel of the year. We have to have the will to do these things, to take care of problems, and to be active in our solution to them.

Will is the act of performing magick. Will is the action taken when we need to move forward with something. To will it is to make it happen.

So we know what we’re doing (how and why) and now we will it to happen. Next, we’ll discuss the hardest part of all, to be silent.

To know. To Will. To Be Silent. What does it mean?

The phrase might be borrowed or adapted from ceremonial magick, but it holds true in nearly every aspect of our lives, not just our magickal ones. But let’s take a look at this phrase, step by step, piece by piece to see what it really means and how it can apply to our mundane and our magickal lives.

To Know.

What does it mean to “know” something? On the surface, if someone knows something, then it generally means they were taught it or learned it on their own. Someone who knows something is generally seen as a point of contact or expert in sharing and passing on that information. Additionally, someone can “know” something in his or her gut, through intuition. This type of knowing is very important in magickal workings.

When doing a ritual or a spell, it is important to know several things. First, you need to know the actual components of the ritual. The timing, where, when, the components being used, the reason for using those components. You have to know this information in order to have an effective ritual or magick working. You also need to know why you’re doing the ritual. Not just the superficial meaning, though that’s important too, but the deeper one.

And you have to know what kind of an outcome you’re working toward.

There’s a lot of knowing that goes into working rituals or magick. But that’s not all, and we’ll look at the next part of the phrase, “to will” in the next blog.

There’s something I’m noticing lately, and it bothers me. There’s a severe lack of respect out there, and it’s happening in all areas of our lives. Where I work, there’s no respect from the people who speak with us, there’s no respect from management (there’s just a cry for “more! more! more!” without acknowledging the work we already do), in the stores there’s crowding and shoving and people not holding doors for other people. I’m always amazed, in a bad way, when I have to use my cane. The dirty looks that someone my age receive when we use a cane. The doors that fly back at me as people pass through them, and I wonder…what if I were an elderly person?

It shocks me, frankly, and it’s caused me to do some thinking. I take a deep breath now when I’m in traffic. I close my eyes, figure I’ll get there when I get there, and make it through the long light with a smile. I’ll slow down, let cars in on the interstate, because if each of us did the same for the other, imagine how much nicer the commute to work would be. In the store, I’ll wave the person next to me over to the empty lane. And when I’m asked, as I often am, in the pet store if I work there (It’s very funny if you consider how often I’m there, and how much shopping I do for my relatives because they know I’m always at the pet store), I always smile, and help them, and when they realize that I’m not an employee, I always smile and tell them that it’s okay. I remember helping an older gentleman find the kitten food, and helping a lady find a bench where she could sit and rest for a while.

I don’t want to set myself up as being better, because goodness, it’s a conscious decision I have to make. I’ve been known to roll my eyes and get just as impatient as the next person. Trust me. But lately, I don’t know, it’s just hit me that in this world of fear about the future, fear about regulation, fear about the economy, and all the little worries we have, we seem to have become very “me” focused and lost our respect.

So what can you do?

1) Act with compassion. If you see someone who needs help, offer it. If you see someone walking behind you with a cane, take a moment to hold the door. If someone is trying to merge onto the interstate, slow down and let them in.

2) Remember that we’ve all been there. We have all had hurried, rushed, stressful days, and sometimes we all don’t act our best.  Understand. Forgive. And try to extend a bit more compassion to that individual. Your smile may be the one that changes that person’s entire day.

3) Acknowledge and recognize. If someone works hard for you, thank them. Acknowledge their work and their effort. Recognize when someone has done something special for you, or simply recognize the work someone has done for you.

And lastly, don’t be afraid to speak up. If you are not receiving respect, set your boundaries and say something. If you cannot say something due to the situation, then take some time to reassess. You are deserving of respect. All of us are. And that’s something to make everyone smile.

“I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.” – Voltaire

Honestly, while I have very strong feelings about Occupy Wall Street, I propose that anyone who is an energy worker or who wishes to pray, light a candle, do a ritual, whatever spiritual or metaphysical practice you prefer, do so with the following aims in mind:

1. To protect the protestors and keep them safe from within and without. (Points to the quote above). Our first amendment guarantees the right to assembly and the right to free speech. It also guarantees the freedom of the press. For any of these rights to be denied for any reason weakens us all.

2. That the issues of income inequality and the plight of the poor, disabled, senior, or disadvantaged of those among us come to light, and that all work toward a solution that is healthy for all.

3. That those in power over the Corporations realize that the root of the word Corporation is cooperate, and that their actions may have directly, or indirectly, created the environment in which the issues of #2 have flourished.

4. That those in political power remember the basic tenant of our Constitution: by the people, for the people.

5. That those in power remember that if they deem Corporations to be people like you and me, then Corporations must be held to the same levels of justice and accountability that citizens are.

Therefore, I call upon all reiki and other energy workers, those who wish to pray or meditate or simply send positive thoughts towards these goals. I believe these goals transcend political party or ideology. These goals transcend religion. And I believe that these are good goals for all of us to have.

So mote it be.

Most of the research I’ve read talks about how fibromyalgia attacks women who are Type A personalities, over achievers, and the go-getters of the world. Most of the people I speak with who have this disease say the same thing. I know I did. I used to be 10 minutes early for everything, work two or three jobs (my “bill paying job” and then working on my businesses), take care of everyone and everything and still have time left over to read a book or simply do something for me. Now, I’m always 10 minutes late, I still work the two or three jobs, but one of them is killing me, there’s never enough time, and I can barely drag myself out of bed.

The motto used to be “Mary does everything. Mary fixes everything.” Now my motto is, “I can do what I can do, and that’s all I can do.”

It’s a hell of a doozy, that first step toward reality.

But the one lesson the fibro monster has made me face is that I have to be gentle with myself. Beating myself up, getting angry and frustrated doesn’t do me any good. In fact it hurts me, physically and emotionally. I was talking with my mom tonight and saw in her many of the same things I see in myself, so I told her she needs to be gentle with herself.

We all do. Goodness, we live in a 24/7, always on, always available world. Parents have to think about their jobs, their kids, their kids’ jobs/activities, and keeping up a house. Even those of us without human children have our own jobs, homes, activities, pets, friends, family members…the list goes on and on. Now that my friends and I are old enough to at least have families of our own (or do), we also have ageing parents which need our help, too. There’s no chance to breathe, let alone take care of ourselves.

Fibromyalgia makes us take care of ourselves. It forces us (okay me, but those with whom I’ve spoken have said the same things) to stop and make time for ourselves. If we don’t listen to our bodies, we hurt.

And honestly, even if we’re in the peak of health, we need to be gentle with ourselves. There’s so much out there telling us that we’re “wrong” or we “don’t know” something. There’s lots of negative images and ideas being thrown at us on a daily basis. We need to stop, accept ourselves and our abilities (notice I didn’t say limitations. After all, we can do what we can do, and that’s what we can do.), and be gentle with ourselves.

One of the most powerful things we have is our ability to love ourselves. This love, this acceptance, flows like the most pristine spring water and refreshes and nurtures our heart and soul. Understand that it takes great strength to accept ourselves and love ourselves no matter the consequences.

So please, the next time you’re lamenting the lack of things being checked off on your to do list, take a deep breath, and be gentle with yourself. It’s okay, and you are perfectly all right.

Many traditions from spiritual to medical have what’s known as the “dark night of this soul.” This is the time when the world is the darkest, when there seems to be no hope, no chance of a positive outcome. It can be a very trying time for people, and it is most definitely a difficult one. Having just gone through one of these periods myself, I can attest to the fact that they’re not easy on the individual nor are they easy on those around the individual. However, just like the saying “this too shall pass”, I did come through my “dark night” and onto the other side. And looking back, I can say that without a doubt, it’s probably one of the best things that has happened to me lately. (Both the going through the dark night experience and the emergence from it.)

Those who have undergone this time period in their life describe it as being distilled down to their bare essences. Or if you’re a coffee drinker, think of it like a french press. During the “dark night” experience, you’re the grounds being squished down, tamped down harder and harder until all the flavor and oils have been expelled into the boiling hot water. You’re flattened, used up, and honestly, that’s exactly how it feels.

The trails someone undergoes during this period can be a mixture of mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical. They usually don’t happen in just one area. Physical illnesses can zap our strength and make us wonder “why”, which might feed into emotional or mental issues. This is turn forces us to question our faith. It’s a pretty scary cycle. This is why it’s called a “dark night” because you feel like you’re locked in a dark room unable to find a light switch or even the door!

And when this is happening it can be difficult to see it as a good thing. Sure, people tell you that in every adversity there comes a triumph, or a gift. And the only answer you want to give is a “yeah, but…” And at the risk of your telling me that I am sprinkling magic dust and feeding you a bunch of smiley-faced lies, it will get better. There will be answers to find. You might not find them immediately, and they may not become apparent at the time. But they will come, and they will be there.

For me, the recent dark night distilled me out into my bare essence. Who am I? What am I? I realized the answers to those questions were imperative. They were also quite eye-opening. When I finally got back to my roots. My soul, what I needed to do…my mission in life, if you will…then, I was able to step out of the darkness imposed by this “dark night of the soul” and into the light once more.

So how can you make the step from darkness into understanding and forward movement?

1) For every project, every action that you do that takes up a large chunk of your time ask yourself: is this me? is this what I really want to be doing? There will be things, like paying bills, that we have to do even if we don’t like them. But if you want to take on a new hobby or a friend asks you to help with a project, ask yourself, is this me?

2) If you feel as if you’re unable to reach your dreams or lose sight of your dreams, ask yourself, what can I do right now to get there? What one action can I take to move closer to my goals? When you finish that action, ask again, and start another. Baby steps are far better than no steps at all.

3) If you need to reinvent yourself or rearrange your life, don’t worry about how anyone else will perceive it. Do you what you need to do. The rest will follow.

4) The last step would be to allow yourself to be in this “distillation” mode. Don’t push yourself through it. Take the time you need to think about your current direction and how you want to move forward. The first steps you take don’t have to begin a sprint. They can ease you slowly back onto the path, and you’ll probably find, as I did, that suddenly boulders had been removed from your footsteps and someone had come along and cleared the way before you.

Blessings!